I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Someone shattered a urinal.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
