well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
