the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
