what day is it and did you see me today?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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