She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
