it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
