1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Randomize
