why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
