Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
