We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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