I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
