I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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