Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Randomize
