I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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