Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
