Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
