WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
