I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
