yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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