but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Randomize
