pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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