she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize