We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
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