i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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