Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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