Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
