hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
