Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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