Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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