you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize