How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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