and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
