He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Im part way to drunk.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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