I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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