You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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