we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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