is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
