The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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