I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
