we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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