The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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