The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
my liver is dry heaving
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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