Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
