Don't make out with my wife yet
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Randomize
