I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
