I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
