Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
