Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
