i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
