My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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