I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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