So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I would fuck him just for his dog
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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