I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
being pregnant is like rehab
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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