They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I am available for nakedness
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