When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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