shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
