You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
