Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
