do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
