saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
