There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
