Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
