y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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