the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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